maddness

 Im scared , so scared .what if he leaves me ill be crushed , or what if he cheats on me , what if I cheat on him , what I'm not good enough , or he changes ..its just goes on and on. I sit back and think maybe this is just too much . I'm too happy and its nerve racking . I depend on him too much like emtional like he is my complete support system at times . When I'm down he cheers me blah I gotta get back to myself  . With him i cant control my emtions and I cant stand that . But then I think I dont wanna have so much control bc thats when thinks wouldnt be real. Its just overwelming when I think about how much I care about him . It's gettin me emtional just typing this . I swear I hope this works if it does smh ..i dont even know , I cant put into the words the extreme sorrow yeah bc sorrow is worst than sad