Brickhouse Couture

So there is this new fashion line that I might possibly be designing for. This seems and I hope it becomes a great for me to grow as a designer . I never have done anything like this before but its something I most def wants to do and exprience . The line is fresh and budding not  est . as such as  a gucci or prada but even those top names started from the ground up. All I think it needs is a good team and more public expsure and of course my genius lol . I am really excited to start this new venture. I know with hard work it will be great . I'm goin g to keep you guys posted and if you're always feel free to contact me .
EVERYONE CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE http://www.brickhousecouture.com/

Eve - Love is Blind

Take Better !

Wow I haven't written in soo long . Its been like months and months . There has been so much going on . Well the semester is finally over and I think I passed pattern drafting with flying colors hopefully . I wasn't playing around this time .As far as my other classes . I think I did ok i guess Ill see when I see.

Omg things with babycakes have been so bad lately . These last 4 months have just been the worst ever . Our relationship is so bad indescribable .  All the things I was afraid of happening with us has happen . Everything when I say everything I mean everything . Nothing is good , I cant think of anything good to say about our relationship . I just feel so stupid for being in it period. He hurts me so much just on a daily basic . I wanna let go but he doesn't want me to . its like he doesn't want me but he doesn't want me to have anyone else . its just so selfish and evil . Its so sad because i feel like I'm neglecting everyone for him like including myself . Most times I feel like i love him more than myself. It honestly shouldn't be that way .  I shouldn't have to feel to vulnerable & sad all the time .  I finally let him go but it didn't last long now i think I'm back to square one again ugh . It was sad week and a half but at least it was peaceful . Now i have to deal with the bullshit again. I deserve so much better . I keep saying to him and even myself I don't deserve this . I don't need this . But i gotta be about it haha . I think I need time to myself without any man even though i have this loser guy I hardly like taking up some of my time . I have to try my hardest to be done with Babycakes . Its just so hard when I try I miss him so much . Then I do some crazy thing acting out to get his attention.I need to get it together .

I'm the next nicki minaj

Eboni is winning , who are you kiddin
Bitches wanna be on my level , keep wishin
Catch me in the range & yes I'm just sitting
Sitting so pretty , the rims are really spinnin
I get money , you are just spittin


You bitches are gonna make me kill yall
I can be touchin still dont feel yall
So far fetch behind me but I'm still far
Its like we rob galaxies because we are still stars
You are just a one hit wonder
The girl you think is "g"ed up
Yes I son her , like the track field yes I run her
where i put my deorant
yes she is under
& everyone is tight like my jeans
cause I'm hot like summer

Balance is coming

So I knew everything would work itself out . So I have three classes & hopefully I will be getting my pattern drafting two again so everything is right on track . I just have to be really focus and make sure it get good grades . I would love to gedt all a's . The only thing I really need to do is get a job. There is no way I can go a whole year again without and jopb . I need to get some independences . i wanna be able to shop and do more of what i want . Everythin seems to be going okay with babycakes . We have been having a lil disagreements here and there but thats normal. I just hate how sometimes he doesnt care about my feelings like he just says things without thinkin how will take it . Babycakes doesnt understand the different between honesty and being rude to me  thats one thing he is trying to work on because its really annoying .

Turning the frown upside down !!

I'm just so furious like it looks like I will be going through another semseter of hell . I'm tryna to stay postive because if I dont I honestly will go crazy or have a bitch fit . Neither one of these is a suitable option. I have to just look at it as if nothin in life is easy and this isnt the end of my journey just a stumbling block . I'm sure tons of great designer gotta bad grades or even fired from jobs look at marc jacobs fired from perry ellis . Now look at him he is way bigger and prob making more more that them. I have to just focus this loss into greatness which I know I can do !

Nothing is ever balnced

So I get things right with babycakes are relationship is back to normal we love each other blah blah blah. Now omg I realized what are you gonna do about school !? Its like I cant focus on more than one thing at at time which is really bad. So last semseter was real hard for and I got a terrible grade smh . I honestly dont think I derserved that grade but still in all I got it . So I kinda let that discourage me from making my schedule and also I was a little confused about which class I was able to take . Now class start on friday and I'm still concerned . I hate having to deal with issues I always get emtional and cry . But I hate crying it makes me look weak and I hate lookin weak .. smh I guess I gotta suck it up and be a big girl about this & get this stuff resloved get classes bc I have to go to school .

One dream

So this is so odd. I have only had one dream since the break up one in 4 days . If you know me you know I dream and day dream alot like 4 or 5 a day . So to have none is freakin me out . I was happy at first bc I knew they would be sad but now I kinda miss them .But here is the dream.

So me , babycakes and his younger sister who is like 22 years old are in a limo. We are driving to who know where . Im sittin next to the sister with no regaurd to babycakes . Then i get out the limo and walk over to this military man and startin kissing him like he is my boyfriend. While Im with the man babycakes sister is lookin out the window at me just crying like terrible crying . She is trying to open the door but babycakes wont let her and he is tellin her how I dont love her and I'm using her. She is just crying and screamin "noo she does love me let me out ,let me get her ." Babycakes is just shaking her and wont let her out . I get back in the limo and sit next to his sister & hold her hand  . Babycakes is sittin back lookin disgusted . I rub her face and say" baby what wrong why are you crying ?" Then babycakes say" tell her how you love that guy and you dont love her . you dont love her " I grab the sister face and say "dont listen to him I do love you & I only love you . He is jealous of us . That guy means nothing to me " Its crazy because its like I have a power over her . She belives me and starts just kissin me with lots of aggresion . We are just making out like crazy kisses her all over me . Im grappin her like crazy but while we are kissing I'm looking at babycakes . Then I push her head down and she goes down on me and I'm still lookin at babycakes with a evil look like those villian smiles like haha I have your sister under my control and im just moaning and smirkin and babycakes look sick and full of rage . Then I woke up. crazy right idk what it means .

when will I be ok ?

So i havent really been myself since the 12th & yes the 12th was the day of the break up.  At first I wasnt planning on blogging in depth about it . Proably because I couldnt even think about it without crying .I feel somewhat better now a little bit on and off.I know its only been four days but it seems like so much longer . I havent been this sad in such a long time. It's weird because after most break up people go there seperate ways but that isnt the case with me and babycakes. I guess I'll keep the codename . We have talked everyday since the break up. First he loved and didnt wanna end it but had too , then he wanted me as a friend, then he started to hate me and all this anger came out. He started with the name callin im foul , self centered ,fuck u blah blah . He wanted nothin to do with me . Now today i dont really know heis sorry for the anger  wants to talk to me here and there .  The same emtions have applied for me but at the end of the day I still love him and wanna be together idk if that will happen . I think it will he say so no but idk if its good for us to keep talkin . I cry everyday to him because I miss us . Its strange now . Its like it hurts to talk to him but it would hurt more not too so I suck it up and try to be happy but its hard. I just  cant wait till this phase passes . I wanna be ok soon I really do.

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Extreme Sorrow

LIFE WILL GO ON WITHOUT BABYCAKES & I MIGHT BE VERY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW BUT I WILL BE FINE !! thats all I gotta say about the breakup .

maddness

 Im scared , so scared .what if he leaves me ill be crushed , or what if he cheats on me , what if I cheat on him , what I'm not good enough , or he changes ..its just goes on and on. I sit back and think maybe this is just too much . I'm too happy and its nerve racking . I depend on him too much like emtional like he is my complete support system at times . When I'm down he cheers me blah I gotta get back to myself  . With him i cant control my emtions and I cant stand that . But then I think I dont wanna have so much control bc thats when thinks wouldnt be real. Its just overwelming when I think about how much I care about him . It's gettin me emtional just typing this . I swear I hope this works if it does smh ..i dont even know , I cant put into the words the extreme sorrow yeah bc sorrow is worst than sad

I need some balance

This break so hasnt been the most excited. I just need a purpose I feel as if I have no purpose and its driving me crazy. Like my life is all about fun but you have to work & play .  Nothing I have to do  or a place I have to be . I need a job or something . I love babycakes but he is somewhat becoming my life like its good to look foward to being with  or speaking to your boyfriend but I have to care about other things .  This am I was def in a lil blues of course babycakes helped me outta of it but that is kinda bad bc I'm starting to depend on him for too much . He cant be my savior . I gotta save myself . Tomrrow I'm going to sit down and make up a plan or some goals  , all by myself ..smh and maybe take a lil break from babycakes !